I am confident that you’ve noticed that technician CEO out of Wisconsin from the information proclaiming his joyful strategies to microchip his workers. If you missed it, then that CEO proffered general public guarantees of simpler access during the secured/locked doorways of the techie abode along with also the swiftest payment of lunches at the kingdom’s cafeteria, with nary a soul grinding his or her handbag or pocket –gasp–really dig a debit card or even greenbacks to cover the #3 together with cheese and a large Diet Coke. All a worker must do so as to partake in such life-changing added benefits, will have the microchip implanted under the skin between her or his thumb and forefinger.
My first answer after hearing this information was most likely the exact same as yours. → What the real hell. ← In all fairness, they’re a tech firm. On a certain level, we receive it done. Let them do their own thing. Yay, tech! As well as the 50 supposed technician workers at this man’s company that are down to the microchipping, more power to’em. That’s their choice.
However, if any law firm in the United States of America thinks this may, let’s just say, hypothetically, sound like a good idea for its own firm’s employees, that’s cute.
Most lawyers are good people. Some, not so much. And then there’s that special handful that are the downright”mad” types, and I don’t mean”mad,” like the trial lawyers. I mean”mad,” like they think they are the second coming of The Godfather, law firm edition, and can do whatever in the hell it is they want to do at all times. (I know you know at least one.) That latter group of esquires is just crazy enough to maybe think that this whole microchipping thing is the greatest creation since the bottling of the first ever batch of Pappy Van Winkle. (That’s $1,000+ bourbon, for all the non-drinkers reading this post.)
If you, as a lawyer, are contemplating the preposterous notion that your law firm’s employees may actually allow you, as their employing firm, to microchip them–yes, microchip, as in, like a dog, kind of microchipping–consider this a public prophecy regarding the Wall of No. Click Chula Vista Attorney to know more.
I cannot help but wonder how this could seem logical to any employer, much less an attorney, who is the boss of many. (People, not dogs, that is.) Seriously. I got nothin.’ In addition, I find myself wondering just how any attorney –such as the Godfather kind up high on this lawful mountain–might believe your workers, specifically, smart lawyers, paralegals, and other lawful peeps–could be clamoring to lineup within their Jimmy Choo’s and Berluti’sto endure at a heel-to-toe arrangement, essentially peppering the law business corridors with their existence, posture clueless smilesto stay in line with this lucky microchipping extravaganza. Because, we are not. Whatsoever. As paralegals considering the well-being of this legal realm, as a whole, some lawyer pondering this idea might wish to instantly check her or his serotonin levels. We are only (jointly ) saying. All indications point to some dip.
I am a loyal worker. Hell, now, I’ve committed my Faculties self into the authorized trenches for 20+ years and also worked to get the exact same supervising esquire for at least a couple of years. A few days, we work very well together. A few days, I wish to kill him. I am pretty sure that he feels the specific same way . However, if he’s or she the big boss guy (who, thank the god is NOT upon the hill ) ever inquired when I, his faithful paralegal, could be interesting in receiving microchipped, the reply could be a difficult and quick: hell-to-the-no. As a sane man, he’d never really have the balls to ask question. Why? As it is completely ridiculous to anybody working out of a tech firm, and perhaps, to a working within it. I am uncertain how this could make any sense for all people working in lawful. Lawyers? Paralegals? Bueller? Anyone?
I am over here hoping to keep a firm grip with this spot where I breathe, live work, known as”reality.” To anybody who thinks this seems like a fantastic idea for a law firm, I find myself wondering”Who in the hell do you think you are? And what is wrong with you?” No, seriously. We are asking. It is not only me. It is all us.
Whoever has it that several operating in Big Law have overhead video cameras tracking their every movement. Some companies could totally be down to understanding how lengthy Sally spends in the restroom versus Steve. Can she purchase the chicken fingers along with even a hamburger now? Just how far DOES she spend lunch? It is not a genuine slow slip to considering using this microchip for all those kinds of companies. But here is the offer. You’re only a boss. That is it. Plain and Easy. The chief. Perhaps not a collector of all individuals. Perhaps not a cataloger of individuals. Perhaps not a microchipper of individuals. Not Big Brother Legal Edition, stalker of this unsullied. Perhaps not the contact man on speed dial to get your paralegal poacher to phone, if any cracked worker is located roaming the halls, even lurking at the rest room with a chocolate chip cookie in her hands in a bid to conquer the madness, or from the locked door of stall three, in the event the allotted stall-time was, in the heads of the company’s ruler, then exceeded. Hi, microchip. Goodbye, law business. I am pretty certain Sally and Steve are not going for this, nor am I.
Can there be possible health issues connected to the microchips? Maybe, even when you may locate a specialist to declare ninety strategies to Sunday they are absolutely safe. (We operate in lawful. Recall?) Yeswe microchip puppies all of the time. Dogs just live about 15-18 decades, at very best. Notice: We are people. Sounds to me this is really a”try it and see how it works out” scenario. Then againthere are idiots in each single village and it’s possible–maybe not entirely possible, but possible–you will discover some prepared to experience this microchipping process and hope for the best. (Can we select them? Simply saying ) And we understand you are going to be serving up one hell of a waiver of faith, right and these processors, sans guac. We comprehend how it functions. And in our situation, the way that it does not.
You might not expect us to feel that the only location you’re gathering data is in the front entrance and cafeteria register lineup? The exemplary capacities of those processors pondered with a non-legal set of slightly-creative men and women, is shocking. We do not wish to be monitored by you. (Yes, we understand you assert the chips do not monitor us) And we sure as hell hope that there is not a glitch with all the gear that you would like to implant in our hands, not as a firm-wide tracking scenario in drama. “We totally trust you on that,” stated every one of the paralegals not becoming microchips. The chance of tech hacking, privacy issues, or data theft? We are going with a resounding”no thanks” on this one.